Someone once told me..

Someone once told me that when paradise becomes home it’s time to leave.
That’s kind of hard when you really don’t want to. Paradise changing shape and becomes your life. Every day is a party. Every day is vacation. And every day you think that today is the day you actually gonna do something.

Back home there’s always something you need to do, always a deadline, always someone you need to meet. The only thing you need to do here is to decide what to eat, where to sit and when to take a shower. It’s a lazy life. It’s a brilliant life.
But if this was everyday life back home I would shoot myself. Today I woke up tasting like an ashtray in my mouth, with a head as big as a pumpkin and a face looking like a dead person. This is not healthy. This is not paradise.

But what can you do? You keep on going. You keep deciding what to eat, where to sit and you take about four more showers than you usually do. And maybe… just maybe you actually go to the beach.
Paradise is my home and it’s time to leave. It’s time to grow up and start doing stuff. Hahaha,, Never!
I hate stuff!

Remember.. I am Charlie. I am the manchild refusing to grow up. Life is a bitch and I just fell in love with her. Keep r ocking that hula-hoop!

2592000 Seconds

A month is 30 days, 720 hours, 43200 minutes or 2592000 seconds. About a third of all those minutes and seconds you’re either asleep or have no idea of what you’re doing.
I’m in Thailand for a month. I’m in Thailand for one and a half week more.

I’m in Thailand for another 15840 minutes and I don’t know where all my time went.

Where did my minutes go? People say time flies by when you are having fun. I have loads of fun. But still.. I need more minutes.
Coming to Koh Chang again is amazing. It’s like coming home. It’s 30 degrees, the sun is shining and the water is warm. And you actually don’t need to do anything.
We did go to Klong Plu waterfalls, went to the Grand Lagoona and had bbq brunch at a friend’s house. And I did burn my nose. I do stuff, but I don’t need to.

In a way I miss home. I miss my friends. I miss my job and I miss my apartment. I miss all those small things you don’t think about when you’re actually back home living it. But home is always there.

When I leave Koh Chang it’s going to be a whole year of missing something you don’t know if you’re coming back to. I’m gonna miss all those people you’ll never see again. The people that became your family a few weeks in paradise. The people you keep mailing telling them you’re going to visit them.

And all you have back home is a red nose, peeling skin and a bunch of out of focus pictures of you and you’re family drinking a bucket with five straws and a happy smile.
It’s strange to be going home. It’s strange not to be at home. It’s a really annoying thing to have a red nose.

Once I fell in love with this island. I’m falling in love again. But in one and a half week I’m going to fall in love with Gothenburg again. My nose is going to be normal and I’ll be texting my family on the Face. But until then..
I’m gonna keep doing nothing. Keep riding my bike. Keep sunscreening my red nose and keep falling in love with Koh Chang.

Life is a filthy whore and I just paid her of. I am Charlie! I am living the life. I am the rednosed motherfucker in the land of buckets and sunshine.

Helsinki Disturbia

Im suffering from a major hangover!

Turning 27 was a bucket party I to much enjoyed. Im finally back in Thailand. Strangely enough I still think about home and work.

I will make one thing clear for everyone. If you ever plan to go travel. Dont go to Helsinki airport. Not a good place to spend 9 hours alone. Not even 5 hours alone. The big bkk is a blast even when you walking the streets by yourself. But sitting on a airport doesnt give you much to do.

I love it here. I love the sea. I just have to learn not to dive in those qute little buckets.

Its raining and I think Im gonna watch an entire season of Gossip girl. Can you blame me? I still have 3 weeks left in paradise. I dont need to go to the beach today. I dont need to do anything.

Im just gonna kick back and picture my 10 hours in Helsinki airport on my way home.

I am Charlie. Im the vacation whore loving life. I am a screaming hangover from hell!

Homesick at home?

Three days this week I´ve been waking up feeling im not done sleeping yet. With feeling horror of needing to leave my bed.
Today I actually woke up happy to be awake. Strange.. but nice.
My second cousin once said that it was so weird that he always went to bed not feeling tired at all, but woke up more tired then he was the day before. And really.. what´s the point of sleeping if you only get tired?
When I went down to the coffee house today I realized that it´s just two weeks until I go out travelling again, or go on vacation. And it is scary...
I know I should be lucky and jump up and down. But this time I really enjoy myself and my life back home. So what´s the point of running away for a month then?
I said once before that my Gothenburg has gotten smaller by the years. It 's basicly my job, and the coffe house. A small bit of a whole city. But such a good little bit though. It´s gonna be nice to come to Thailand again. But this time I´m leaving a home I actually gonna miss. A home I really enjoy.
But on the other hand,, if the answer to the everyday question "How are you" is "Good, but tired".. Maybe it´s the sun calling for you.
It´s just a month and home is gonna be here when I get back.
I am Charlie. I am the boy who is feeling homesick before leaving my home. I am Charlies neurotic head.

A room with a view

From my window I can look out over the rooftops of Gothenburg. Look out on the city I both love and adore. It´s a good view, a nice view. It´s the view I´ve always wanted to have. I love my city and love looking out on it.. but still... I never walk it.
My neurotic feelings and way of life have made my Gothenburg small. Basicly to one street and a coffee shop. I need to make a change in my life. I need to change something.
A few days ago I went home witth this guy.A nice guy.. And all we did was talk. We talked and we spooned. I loved that. And it made me realize that there´s so many things in life I actually miss.
I needed to change my life. I needed to go outside my street and find another coffee shop.
I cleaned my apartment.
I cleaned up my home, I bought a new shampoo and I started to brush my teeth three times a day. It´s not much but it is a beginning.
So now I´m sitting here witht a clean beginning and clean white teeth, looking out on my city, wondering when I´m actually will walk my hometown.
Maybe tomorrow.. maybe never.
I´ts just me. I´ts just me in a room with a view.
Remember,, to look is a passive way of doing stuff. I am Charlie. I am the lazy bitch who wants something more.

Were the world mine

When I was younger everything was so much easier. Going to the summer house in the summer doing nothing but play with my friends, laying on the beach thinking nothing of school. You were the hero of your own fantasies.
Then the fall came and school started again. And the most exciting thing was to see how everybody had changed during the summer. Of course nothing much had happend. But still.. the excitement to see your friends in school again was like opening the latest edition of Hello Magazine.
Now it´s not like that anymore. Everything is choices. You have to choose..
What to do during the summer. Do you want to travel? Do you want to stay at your work? Do you want to do a 180 and change your life by go all the way down to Oz?
Everything is a choice and the desicion you make will have such a big impact on your life it´s hard to even come up with an idea. I´m stuck in Limbo.
If the world were mine i would make it easier.
At this point I dont know wether I want to grow up and stay in my co-op apartment, building me a home with my safe job and my safe place with my safe friends or if I just want to go out in the world again and never look back.
Im tired. Im tired of all the choices, of not sleeping enough. Of sleeping too much. Im tired of not knowing if Im making the right desicions.

Were the world mine I would change my name. I would live in a city where the choices were easy. I would be my own amazing fantasy.
I would be the hero of my life. Life is a tricky buisness and to fall is the only way to get back up again.
Were the world mine I would still be me. I am Charlie. I am the sleeping urg waiting to wake up.

Summer and a hang over.

It´s in the middle of the summer and the wind is blowing like a mad man!
I can honestly count the days this summer I´ve been out in the sun. Even though a great summer as it´s been.
My black hole is behind me and everything is looking up. Of course I still have some bumps in the road to deal with. But who wants to bother anymore.
What I realized the last couple of days is that it´s a lot easier to dig in to work than to actually think about doing something with your life.
So what am I going to do..
I´m going to work my ass of, sit at Doppio thinking about simple things and maybe, just maybe...
Maybe sometime in the fall I will have the time and money to runaway a little bit again. Home is starting to feel a bit small and useless.
Home is feeling a bit weird and unnecisarry. Let´s all get out and get a briliant hang over.

I am charlie. I dont get it! At all..

Midsummer

It hurts to be alone.
Sometimes you dont realize it.
Sometimes you just block it out. But it does. It hurts. It´s that feeling who tells you it´shard to get up in the morning, who makes you feel tired in the middle of the day. It´s that feeling who makes you feel lost without even notice it.

Tomorrow´s midsummer and I dont even know how to celebrate it. It´s been a long way home and finally I´m actually home. I have my job back. My apartment. But why does it feel like it doesn´t matter?
I think I lost myself somewhere. I never had any problems with being on my own. Always liked to have my own time and myself to take care of.

It hurts to be alone. And I dont even know why I feel it.

I am Charlie. I am the circle that doesn´t lead anywhere. I am happy in every fucking aspect you can ever imagine. This is the dark side of a happy smile. I am me.

Comunication

There´s a small little café in Gothenburg called Doppio..
There is were I find myself sitting the most days of my life at home. It feels safe. It´s like Switzerland. It´s neutreal.
I feel a little bit lost and then it´s nice to be somewhere that feels like home. But I think everything is going the right way. When I came home I felt I was gliding down in a big black hole. I´m still there.
I was in Thailand a few yeasrs ago and was living in a bungalow up in the trees. In the middle of the night I woke up by a weird sound. There was a scratching sound on the roof like claws trying to get a grip. Then something that sounded like a really horny cat, really loud. Meeeaaaooooow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Probably a monkey but I could hear it go down, down and then it was quiet.
Going down my black hole I felt like the monkey.. I was the monkey.
But like Curious George I´m climbing my way back up again. One dirty hand at the time.

One of my biggest issues right now is peoples lack of comunication. What the fuck is wrong with people?!
Two of my friends got dumped during this year. With no warning, after having a perfectly good relationship. You dont tell someone how much you love them, how you want to meet their mother and then sneak in to the apartment the day after grabbing your stuff and text your boyfriend Hasta la vista baby it´s over.
You dont crawl up in the sofa, have a cozy night home and at the end of the night tell her you dont love her anymore.
What´s wrong with saying I´m not sure about this can we take a break? Or, I´m having second thoughts about this, in a good situation. What´s wrong with talking about stuff?
When something irritates me I at least text people asking what´s wrong. Have a little heart and answer for god sakes!
And if you´re having problems with comunicating your feelings and do break up with the one you apparently didn´t love. Why do you start comunicate after the break up?
Make up your fucking mind! It´s a war.

Maybe I´m not ready to come out of my hole yet. Maybe I should stay down here a bit and just breath.
I am Charlie. This is my hole, and I´m starting to love it. It´s summer in Charlieland.
Come join the evolution! Stop being stupid!

I want my life back

All the glorious emotions I felt when I came back home and all the joy I felt in sitting on safe ground suddenly disappeared under my feet.
It´s not that anything actually have changed in my beatutiful hometown. It´s more the feeling of not being a part of it.
Since I came home nothing that I´ve done has been the home that I knew. My worries of working, stressing out and sleeping. None of those things are the stuff you really want to do when you just got back from a half a year trip.
I want to meet friends, sit in cafés talking shit about Lindsey Lohan and drink beer with my flatmates late into the night bragging about who has seen the biggest penis yet.
I´m not there yet. I don´t have an apartment. I don´t have any money.
I don´t have a reason to be here.
Someone once wrote:
"To come home should be a schlager, but maybe home can never be a place as long as you are alone, maybe in the end home is a person who makes you beautiful, who you can and want to make beautiful..."
I am beautiful. I am alone.
Where do I lay my hat at the end of my day?

Nothing in school prepared me for these kinds of questions. Nothing in my life so far has taught me how to handle a sitiuation of confusion like this.
I know how to talk to a drunk person while pouring up a dry Martini, how to remember a whole manuscript and the basics in ballet.
But my own neurotic feelings and emotions?
Anxiety is not a good feeling. I dont even know if it is a feeling.
Are you scared? I am scared.. If I sound a bit confused? Yes! I am a little bit confused!
Life is a tricky buisness. I had a life in Gothenburg. I want it back!

This is my Gothenburg! Remember.. I am Charlie. Welcome to my brain.

Home

It’s spring time. It’s sunny. It’s my first coffee in my favorite café.
It’s my first day in six month at home, in my own hometown.
We decided to go back home. Decided that it was time.
I had a feeling that I wanted to go back home and set things straight. Take responsibility and start a life. I’m not that sure about it anymore.

With the dying breath of our accounts and some serious ticket hunting we bought tickets from Brisbane to Bangkok, and Bangkok to Stockholm.
We wished for a smooth trip but forgot about the bad karma that had followed us through the whole trip.
We missed our connection flight to Sydney, we ran through the airport to different counters about ten times, we screamed at an evil Quantas woman and we ended up going back to Brisbane before going to Bangkok.
And let me say that even if the waterfights during Sonkran in Bangkok was wicked and so much fun… of course it was a riot and a curfew in Bangkok while being there.
I take all of this as a sign that I should stay home for a while. That it’s time to let my poor little bag rest for a bit.
But that’s kind of hard when you get offered a job in Thailand in your favorite place in the world.

A few things I learned on Koh Chang while working in Sunflower:

Never say no to a one year old girl.
How to count in thai.
And how to say male masturbation in thai.

I’m not sad to be back home. I’m actually a bit relieved. It feels safe, relaxed and a little bit boring.
I love the spring in Gothenburg. I love walking to my regular café having my daily latte. I love being here. I love being home.

I am Charlie. This is Gothenburg. This is my home.

Sometimes it doesn’t turn out the way you’ve planned it

I always picture things in my head. How my life is going to turn out. How people will react to me going away. How my new job is going to be like.
I have a clear picture in my head of everything I do. I had a clear picture in my head of my trip.
It didn’t turn out that way. It didn’t even come close to the painting I had in mind. God hates me and karma fucked me in all ways you can possibly get fucked!
But isn’t that how it supposed to be. You expect things to be in a certain way. And then everything turns and you have a good story to tell when you’re sitting with your friends drinking a cold beer.
I think I’m quite satisfied at the moment. I think everything is going to turn out great. But the way there has been a journey through hell and back.
It’s been fun! It’s been great!

This is the world I am living in. This is Charlieland.

Stanthorpe

Stanthorpe.
Texas.
Mora.
I’m sitting in Stanthorpe on the guesthouse drinking hot water with honey. I can imagine that this is how Nicole Richie felt when she was in rehab.
It’s quiet, calm and absolutely nothing to do. It’s Saturday and there’s no one around.
We went out to a farm to pick some apples and save some money to keep on traveling. Everybody said that it was going to be so hard. That it was going to be such a shit job. But working for a week I must admit that it wasn’t really that bad. Boring? Yes, of course!
But really not that hard. Climbing a ladder, twisting down the apples and lifting it in the bin. I would still be doing it if it wasn’t because of my arm.
That is irony. I went to Australia to travel around a bit and work on farms picking fruit. But when I did it my arm broke down after one day. Irony.
So now I’m sitting with a bad arm in a small town without any money again.

I just realized that I’ve actually done everything I wanted in Australia. Well… I haven’t been to Melbourne yet. But hopefully that’s on its way.
So if I have to go home now I wouldn’t regret missing anything. What I would be feeling bad about is coming home without money, job or an apartment. But I did Sydney, I did Byron bay and I worked with fruit living the cheap life and seen spiders I will never forget.
Now begins the hunt for work again. I’m leaving for Brisbane on Monday. I’m hoping for a bar job or something with coffee. But we will see. Maybe we’ll meet in a bar close by soon.
I am Charlie. My arm is a broken money bag with a hole in it. My arm is a bitch! I am Charlie! This is

A pot of rice and a smile on your face

We arrived in Brisbane tired and broke.
Byron bay was amazing. We ended up on a farm picking macadamia nuts for accommodation. For those who have done that you know it’s not really a fun job crawling around on the ground in the sun scared of snakes and spiders. But with a little bit of luck we didn’t have to do that for to many hours a day. It was boring as hell out on the farm but I can say that it was a beautiful place to take it easy on. But seriously…
After three days with no internet, no tv, no people, no store, no nothing not even a little red ball to play with you start to go a little bit insane. I’m obviously not a farmer!
And how desperate are we? We walked two hours on the highway just to get a cup of coffee in Byron bay. Then walked back when the sun went down. Again very beautiful… But have you ever felt that fear when the heart stops beating and you can feel a little bit of poo in your pants? When tears start to come and prairie dogging is the least of your problems?
I’ve seen the biggest spider in my life! And a lot of them! Don’t walk near bushes in the outback evening time in Australia! It was the size of a walnut and with legs like baby fingers. And that’s not even really the outback by the way. Can’t imagine what creatures I would see there.
I can still hear the screaming late at night when I’m laying in bed.
Because of our money situation we can’t afford the best food. We can’t afford anything really. So we eat like one cup of rice with soy and maybe some tuna a day. If I’m not thin and fit when I go home I’m going to get fat instead!

Today I and Anna split up. Felt weird. She got a job as an apple picking person. Apparently guys are less desirable right now so Danny and I are going to wait here for a job. Changing travel partner in the middle of the trip feels strange. I don’t think either of us really expected that.
I’m really in a good mood. Finally I don’t really care if I have to go home. And I’ve had so much fun on this trip. It’s a good feeling when you feel like you’ve grown during being away from home. When you realize you love the city you live in and that it’s time to actually start to build yourself a home.
I’m ready for anything right now except studying. Because I don’t know what to study. But I’m ready!

Don’t let the man get you down!
I am Charlie’s beautiful body in a boring city. I am ready!

Walkabout

It's a walk...
It's a gay walk that's longer than 10 km. In the middle of the day we decided to walk to Kings beach in Byron bay. As Lonely planet said... "a very popular gay beach".
To say it's in Byron bay would be wrong. Deceiving even. I and Danny walked. And we walked for two hours. A lovely little beach with almost no people. If it was worth it? Of course!
Would I do it again? Absolutely... With a car.
I love the walks, i love the waves and I really love the fact that we tomorrow decided to leave for a Macadamia farm to work a bit. Three days of quiet time and some nut picking.
I know that our situation is a little bit tense, but dont really care. There's something about the beaches that calms your nerves.
Our trip hasn’t really been easy. It hasn’t been what we expected.
In Thailand the currency went up the roof, when we got to Oz it was fire in Victoria and the north was flooded. And now there's a cyclone up on Frasier Island. And btw... it was a shark around the swimming competition in Sydney today. I LOVE AUSTRALIA!
I know it's going to get easier. But right now it's not really easy to see that.
But for today... of course I manage to get us a ride back home. And that my friend... is the gay way to do the walkabout!

I am Charlie! Hear me roar!

Satisfaction

Satisfaction is like a beautiful creation from Balenciaga that you desire and crave, but rarely have the chance to lay eyes on. My way to satisfaction is a long and winding road. My way to satisfaction seems to go all around the world and back to Sweden.
What I didn’t knew when I left home was that I was going to miss it that much. But I do…
I miss my nephew, my family and my friends. But most of all I miss the easy living.
Yesterday it was Mardi Gras and I never saw a party like that. Thousands of men walking the streets in drag, leather, feathers or naked. A party bigger than I’ve ever seen. And it all was to celebrate our way of life.
I’m loving life. But I hope it’s getting easier soon.
I don’t make illusions… but sometimes it’s hard not to dream of a better situation.
I never felt so naïve as I have done this trip. My behavior, my choices… Naïve.
We came to Byron bay today. A beach as long as your eyes can see, a small town and a lot of surfers. Everybody seems to think that life is so easy. That all you need is a board, some weed and a campervan.
I don’t work like that. I don’t have any money. What I do have is a pair of legs. And they can walk… I want to walk. I want to be satisfied…

I am Charlie… This is my breakdown.

Time in a box

When time becomes unimportant, something that’s not real. When it becomes one of those trees you see flying by outside the window when you’re sitting on a train… When it doesn’t matter if you leave you’re bed in the morning or if you have a job to go to.
That’s when you start to questioning you’re existence. When you start wondering… is this real? And what is my purpose.
If I’m depressed? Hell no! In one way it’s liberating just shutting down your mind for a moment of time. Say hey man… I am taking a break from life.
But is it healthy?

At this time I’ve been sick laying in my bed for three days looking at the sealing with no thoughts what so ever, kind of looked at movies even if I didn’t really saw them and been sitting on the toilet.
Sitting on the toilet can be one of the most boring things you can do when you go there about fifteen times a night and about the double during the day.
Thoughts that crossed my mind during one of these times:

What if someone saw me right now?
Am I sitting the right way?
Is this a weird smell?
What is Angelina wearing on the academy awards.
How long have I been in here?
Can they hear me?

I’m feeling better now. A lot better. I can sit up, I can eat, and I can talk to people without sounding like a dying sad little crack whore. But I have still not left the apartment in like three or four days. Have hardly been talking to anybody and for sure haven’t been thinking for a second.

Time for me right now is an illusion, something that doesn’t matter. It don’t really matter which city I’m in. Which month it is or what time it is..
Time is something that slipped away… I just don’t care.
We live in our own little fantasy world. Me, Danny, Maria and Anna. We and the boys here are living here in our apartment in the centre of Sydney doing nothing. Cocking dinner, sleeping, watching movies…
Our own fantasy… nobody cares about jobs. Nobody cares about money. About anything.
About time.

I’ve lost track of time.

Nothing really matters!

Someone said to me in Asia that nothing really matters. That made no sense to me at all… In my life everything matters.
The money is about to run out. We have no jobs and there are not really any jobs to get here in the city. Everyone here is running around, looking for something to do. Looking for a purpose.
Our days here at the moment are filled with DVD watching, pasta, coffee and reading books. And everything takes place in our shared little apartment.
The air con makes my body feel heavy, dehydrated. Makes me feel weak.

So today we woke up from our cave and went out. Sitting in Darling harbour, talking about our situation actually made everything better. The fresh air made me think clearly and suddenly it made sense.
Nothing really matters. If we spend our money having fun and get broke we just go fruit picking. If we don’t get jobs at the harvest trail we go further up north. If we can’t make it there we just go home. It doesn’t matter what happens. It’s no point of spending your days traveling worrying about things you can’t control. So from now on I’m not going to worry anymore.
As my friend once said…

Nothing matters. Nothing really matters.

My head is empty!

I feel like a massive floating head. A heavy head that's floating around with no purpose what so ever...

I feel like the crazy girl that just walked over the street on Taylor square screaming after her unborn child!

I am a head.

I am Charlies head in a box! Remember.. life's a box of chocolate.. and it's soon to be empty.

I am Charlie, this is my head! This is how I see my life!

New life, new city.

When you move to a city with the intention of not just visiting but to live there, it’s something strange happening with the way you live your life.
Back home it’s not really hard to do nothing. To wait for the weekend to pass so you can go to the bank and arrange your account, get your tax number…
I’m walking the streets of Sydney with no plan, with no idea of what I’m actually doing here. I love it.. I love the vibe of the city. But I have no idea..
As a regular tourist you spend your day walking around looking at things.. Doing exciting stuff like spending money on a festival, going on a boat trip to look at dolphins, climb a mountain or drink martinis on a rooftop bar with no spending limit. You have a certain amount of days to have the best time in your life…
I have a certain amount of time to start my life until my money runs out.
I didn’t come here to be a tourist; I came to start a life. To live here like I lived back home.

But when I was without work back home I enjoyed staying home in my apartment doing nothing. Go for a coffee with friends. Here… It’s not really the same.
It’s not really the same when you’re staying in a guesthouse with five other people in the same room. When you don’t have your friends around or when you don’t know when your next paycheck will come.
At any time I might be forced to leave this place. Forced to pack my bags and move yet again. Move to the cold and to familiar place I call home.
I’m not ready to go home… not yet.
So I keep wandering the streets with no clue. Because right now I’d rather do that here, than back in Gothenburg.
Nothing ever lasts…

This is Charlies roaring insides. This is my panic. It’s all happening!

Sydney

Sydney.. Oxford street.. Bondi beach..

There’s so much going trough my mind right now. We arrived in the big Oz yesterday. And we already had a beach breakfast, a walk about in Bondai, beach picnic, a whole nighter on Oxford street and a move to the most disgusting guest house in the world. A word of advise.. if you’re planning to live in Sydney. Avoid Cooee guest house. It’s in Kings Cross above the train station across the street from Happy Hockers.

Leaving Thailand was one of the most disturbing things I’ve done in a long long time. I miss it.. of course I do. But there’s always new places to see. New things to do..
It’s harder than I thought it would be. Maybe because I’m not the same young boy who does’nt care about anything.

A lot of people here shrugg their shoulders and says that it’s no worries..Everythings gonna be alright. Of course.. but it’s not that easy for me to just shrugg my shoulders and say.. “Hey,, what the fuck. I don’t care that someone had their period on my pillow and that it’s ok that someones black pubic hair is in my clean sheets.”
Maybe I’m to old for this. Or maybe I’ve just reach the point were I actually enjoy a little bit of comfort. Or at least clean sheets…
Tomorrow we’re moving to a new place. Tomorrow we’re going to look around and fix things.. and maybe.. just maybe tomorrow I will go on an interview.
Good luck to me. It’s all happening! Just come on over here and have a look.

I am Charlie. This is my travel. I am Charlies body on disgusting sheets.

Memory lane

Memories...

At one point or another everything ends up as a memory. Nothing you can touch, nothing you can see. Nothing that anyone else can understand.

Just one perfect image locked up in your head for you to remember. Sometimes a memory is a smell. Sometimes a feeling... I'm haunted by a smell. I'm haunted by a feeling...

I have a vivid memory that's haunting me. And no one but me can feel it, smell it or touch it.

On this trip I've got so many good memories to keep in my box. Met so many people. It all happend in Thailand.. It all happend here in Asia. In a couple of days we're leaving all of this behind us to look forward.

Look straight into the eyes of an unknown future of new experiences. New people..

It feels weird. It feels strange.
So I'm gonna take a moment. Take a moment to try to take in all of the things that happend. All of the wonderful and strange moments I've had so far.

I'm going to take a moment and walk down memory lane.

Just me my feeling and my smell.

Dont forget.. I am Charlie. It's all happening!

Leaving home

Ten days....

Ten days and then I'm leaving Koh Chang. It's going to be weird. It's going to be sad.

It's gonna be like leaving home. Leaving all your friends. Leaving the bungalow you've been living in for eight weeks. I dont want to do it.

When I got here weeks ago it felt strange. Strange being back in a place that had changed so much.

And now it feels like I've been living here all my life.

The worst thing about leaving this place is to end up in a place that has such a different vibe then here. You cant really compare Bangkok to Koh Chang.

The stress, the traffic, the fact that I'm going to Sydney.... I want to stay.

But it's time to go on. To meet new people. To see another part of the world where the most important thing of the day is not wether you're going to the beach or not.

I miss walking around in a city.

I miss drinking coffe in a caf'e' all day long. And I miss having a job to go to.

When I think about my trip, the most things I remember are the people that I've met. I miss them and I hope that I some day would meet them all again. Maybe you dont really miss places... maybe you just miss the people you've met there..

I am Charlie. This is my life. This is how I see it in my head.